Love and Loss
by SinWave
Summary: He can't find a way to escape the nightmares, it hurts so much to see Cedric's face. It's the only way out. The love of her life is gone, she just wants to see him again one last time. Is that to much to ask? Rated T for mentions of Suicide, might become a series of Harry/Cho one shots.


He stands at the top of the Astronomy Tower in silence. How long has it been? Hours? Days? Since what? When he left the common room the fire had been put out and nobody was up late working. Since that day nothing had been the same.

Ron had thrown himself into studying, Harry didn't know what for. No book could teach you the terror of facing down someone so truly evil. Harry had tried to talk him out of it.

"_Ron?"_

_The ginger haired boy doesn't acknowledge Harry's voice._

"_Please Ron you need to sleep, and then we can play chess or-"_

"_What am I supposed to do Harry? What if he comes for my family?" The boy looks up at Harry, his eyes full of tears. "What the hell would I do?"_

"_I don't know." Harry hates to say these words to his best friend._

_Tears fall from Ron's eyes staining the page with blotches of grief and rage. Ron looks back down to the book._

"_Just go Harry, People can't know I'm weak."_

_Harry turns and walks away from his best friend. As he leaves he hears Ron give a yell of pain and sorrow. Harry wants to turn back but he knows that he can't. _

The warm night air is blowing in Harry's hair. It feels good. He looks over the edge, the ground is so far down. He wants to jump, the last thing he would feel would be the wind in his face. It would be peaceful. He would never need to relive the flash of green light, the three words spoken before Cedric died, the searing pain of his arm getting cut open.

He stands on the edge, the only thing keeping him from falling is a gentle hold onto the railing. It would only take an accident for him to plummet to his death. Would that really be such a bad thing. The school hated him, he had stolen Hufflepuff's glory and come back with a star student dead. It would be for the best if he let go here and now. Nobody would miss him, he would carry Ron's secret to the grave.

"It's for the best."

His grip begins to loosen, the wind blows faster and faster. The Dursleys will have a field day, they won't need to think about the freak ever again. Harry takes a deep breath, a clock is ticking somewhere, the stars are shining down, indifferent to the world bellow.

He lets go.

For a brief beautiful second the only thing in the world is the wind in his hair. He feels more alive then he ever has before.

"Harry?"

Cho walks out of the Ravenclaw common room. It's late, she knows that if Filch finds her she will loose Ravenclaw the cup but what does it matter? She lost the love of her life three days ago. Every step has been another knife pressed into her chest. What hope was left? She doesn't know where she's going, she only knows that she won't come back.

She wanders the hallways and staircases of Hogwarts. This place had always been home for her. Now it was stained red with blood. Everywhere she looks she sees the staircases that Cedric walked. She pauses on the landing where she had her first kiss with Cedric. It was the best day of her life. She stands and hopes that maybe Cedric would walk up the stairs and hold her like he did that night.

She knows it won't happen. She dreams about the impossible. Cedric is dead and he is never coming back. All she sees is blood and the body of a man who crossed Voldemort's path. Did he even remember who he had killed? Or was Cedric just another death?

Tears fall without warning. She is silent. She wants to see him more than anything else in the world. Her judgement is clouded by pain, she knows where she needs to go.

She walks, her mind wanders by itself. She climbs flights of stairs toward the tallest place at Hogwarts. This is the right thing to do. She is going to see Cedric again.

"Miss Chang!"

Professor Flitwick is there, his squeaky voice is filled with concern. Does he know what she is going to do? Will he try to stop her?

"I'm fine Professor."

The tears on her face say otherwize.

"Cho, you can always come talk to me if you need to."

She nods, "Thanks Professor, I'm just going on a short walk, to get some air. The common room is just stuffy sometimes."

Professor Flitwick gives a dry smile, "I understand. Where are you going?"

"The Astronomy Tower." She doesn't know why she tells him, is it a desperate plea for help? Does she want to live? No. She has to see him, nothing can stop this.

A gentle flame flickers behind Flitwick's eyes, "Goodnight Miss Chang."

"Goodnight Professor."

She continues up the steps, the pain hurts more and more with each step she takes. The final set of stairs hurts more then every anything she could imagine. _It's all worth it_, she tells herself. _I'll get to see him again _she tells herself. It doesn't stop the pain. She knows it isn't true. The wind blows in her hair. The stars cast a pale light across the world. Time slows down, she sees a boy slowly falling from the railing of the tower. She recognizes him.

"Harry?"

He grabs onto the railing, he doesn't know why. It would be better for everyone, why does he hold on? _He doesn't want her to lose somebody else._ His heart plummets, that means it's not for the best. Malfoy might laugh and the Dursleys might thank god for his death every day but what would it do to Ron and Hermione.

He can see them in his mind's eye. Ron's confusion when he wakes up and doesn't find Harry in his bed. Hermione's worry when Ron tells her. The tears rolling down their faces when Professor McGonagall tells them.

His hand is slipping, this time fear clouds his mind. He tries to pull himself up, he can't do it alone. Two words have been eating him up inside for days. He hasn't been able to say them until now.

"Help me."

Cho runs forward, she grabs onto his arms and with far more strength then she ever thought she had she pulls him back. Away from the cold embrace of death.

"Harry," she doesn't know if she even believes what she says, "It's not worth it. People will miss you so much."

Harry cries. For the first time he can remember he doesn't try to stop the tears. Something tells him that it's the right thing to do, to let them fall.

"I killed him Cho, it was all my fault, Cedric is dead because of me. You must hate me."

"I don't hate you Harry." She walks over to him and sits down next to him, "You didn't cast the curse that killed him. If you kill yourself nobody will remember his final words, nobody will remember his final moments."

Cho takes hold of Harry's hand, "Please Harry, stay, stay so we can remember him. I'll never get to see him again, but at least we can remember him."

Tears fall from Harry's eyes, he squeezes Cho's hand. They both hold on, if they let the other one go they would lose something more valuable than they understand. A bond forged in love and loss.

"Stay with me?"

"Until the very end."


End file.
